sometimes i just seriously wonder why after so many years...
he is still so determinant in my life...
and hold such a tight grip over it...

though not physically but definately mentally...
not only he is able to make my thoughts wonder with just one sentence....
he also has the ability to calm me down tremendously with just one sentence as well...

being tgt with him makes me feel dat i need so much protection from him...
so much showering of attention, love n care...

so much so that...

the moment i'm not able to find him...
i get affected.... and depressed... n i will lose all mood to do anything...
though most of the time i'll know wat he is doing and why he does not respond...
but still i would feel downright terrible...

i would just need him to listen to all my blabbering...
den i'll feel very much better...

i would wait every singel day for the time whereby he will come online so i'll be able to talk to him...
i would just need to tell him everything....
be it how little or how insignificant it is....

he kinds of holds the key to my emotions...
and can control them according to his actions...

it might seem dat i'm possessive...
but he definately needs to be around me 24/7 for me to be at ease n smile...

i'm too overly dependent on him...

though it is something not to be proud of or smoething dat should be condoned...
i would rather things remain as the way it is now...

maybe if i could choose...
dat he be more sensitive towards me...
and know when i need him around...
be it just to lend a listening ear....
or to just gimme a huggie...

i so miss him presence around me...

most importantly....

i miss having him tell me everything is going to be alright...

i miss him loads...

way loads...

=(