Thursday, November 03, 2005

the news to me was disappointing...
it made me tear...
i place quite high hopes on it...
but things just did not go well for me...

i blame only myself for it...
not putting in enough effort to make it come true...
not wroking hard enough to make it work out...
now lost in neither here nor there...

i'm lost...
dunno wat to look forward to...
dunno where to carry to carry on...
and i dunno wat the future brings for me...

nobody understands me to know how to console me...
or rather there isn't anything to console about...

the line...

"the higher you place ur expectations, the harder u fall.."

and dis time... i tink i fell really hard...
cuz i dun seem to know how to get back up...

right after knowing the news...
the impact din seem dat great...

but when i actually stand back and reflect on it...
i den realise how devastating it is...

i thot i could take it...
but no...

i thot i could be strong and pretend dat nothing ever happened...
but it keeps flashing in my mind...

i thot it did not mean much to me...
but it is so not true...

and i thot i will not be affected by it...
but everything proved to be wrong...

as time and time again...
i'm reminded of my failure...

it was just my wishful tinking dat things would go on smoothly...
i thot too highly of myself...
and now i regret...

i'm sorrie for not being the best dat i could...
i feel so disappointed in myself...

just wish time will go back for me...
so i can have another try at it...
and work hard to achieve the success dat i wan...

maybe i did not see it coming...
thus not anticipating the aftermath...

haiz...

just finding reasons for everything...
and seeking an chance to escape for myself...
to make myself feel better...

but it doesn't work...
cuz i know the best...
i'm the one to blame for watever dat has happened...

regrets...

r a ! n a _____________*

The Ger



~*Serene ` Raina*~

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