Monday, April 18, 2005

i tink too much again...
just nothing better to do i guess....
searching my mind for answers to things...
my mind is already so tiny... yet i still stress it so much... so poor thing...

i search the answer to why pple do some things...
i search the answer to why pple say something n do another...
i search the answer to why pple copy others...
i search the answer to why pple just cannot keep to wat they say...
i search the answer to why there are just so many kinds of pple in the world...
some just so nice...
and some just so undescribable...
some just plain evil...

i just wonder...
if someone sees u walking next to another guy or ger dat is handsome or pretty...
wat would that person feel... envious... or watever other feelings...

i just wonder...
when gers look at guys...
and after that whisper among themselves n giggle...
wat do they mean...

or when gers look at you den me...
and after dat whisper among themselves...
wat are they thinking...

i dun seem to think like normal ger...
at least i feel i'm like dat...

maybe i'm just not confident enough...
maybe i just always think i'm inferior to others...
maybe i'm just useless...
maybe i just cannot do anything well...

____________________________________________________________________________________
to my frens... especially one...

i nearly teared again....
this time not becuz of a relationship... i'm very loved n protected in it... n i'm happy...
but cuz of friendship...

i feel dat i dunno how to be a fren...
and i dun care about how my frens feel...
i dun bother about them...
thus many drifted away from me...
i haf frens dat are mostly all hi bye frens...
close frens... some... but slowly none...
buddies... i dunno myself...
maybe i haf not put in enough...
for the friendship to sustain itself...

watever it is...
i'm sorrie to whoever u are...
if i let u be just a passer by in my life...

i dun wan everything to end...
i dun wan the state dat we are in now...
i dun wan to haf nothing to say to u...
i just wan everything back to normal...
i miss u...

r a ! n a _____________*

The Ger



~*Serene ` Raina*~

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