Thursday, March 10, 2005

received ur call yesterday.... giving me half an hour to get to ur place.... knwing that it is impossible if i were to take the mrt.... but i felt dat something has to be wrong.... a time limit of half an hour to rush down from simei to jurong east.... the only way is to take a cab.... i had no second thoughts and was already preparing when u called me again... telling me that there is no need to come down already.... wat is wrong?


minutes later.... another call form u.... saying that if u were to come down to my place means u will patch with me.... i was like stunned.... i noe she was right next to u at dat moment.... and u all were in the midst of a quarrel.... so why did u call me....


i dunno why.... but i have the feeling dat u are using me to spite her.... using me to make her jealous or watever.... by asking me to go down to ur place.... wat were u thinking at dat moment of time..... trying to show her dat i would go dat extra mile for u so in a sense i'm better den her? adn when u call me to tell me the wat if u come down.... trying to make her angry with u... and treasure u dat way.....??? although i really wan to be with u.... but if it is done just to spite her.... den i would rather choose to wait longer..... i dun wan to be a tool that is used to solve ur problems.... it is ur problem.... and u should settle it urself.... not pull me into the whole mess.... imagine if i really were to go down.... stand there and watch u guys quarrel?


i actually really wanted to go down.... to protect u..... just in case she hits u or wat..... in the past when someone else hit u.... i did not protect u..... and i dun wan to repeat the same mistake again....


i noe everything is settled already.... and i can roughly guess the answer myself.... but i wan to hear it from u.... for me now..... it is like a prisoner waiting for my sentence..... unless i get a confirmed answer from u.... otherwise... i would not noe anything..... and i can only wait..... but the wait is painful....


it hurts painfully again..... it grew less painful or the last few days.... but now it is unbearable again.....

r a ! n a _____________*

The Ger



~*Serene ` Raina*~

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