Monday, February 28, 2005

my jie jie just left for perth.... n she won't be back till june.... and i will only visit her in april... i just came back from the airport.... saw her walking into the transit area... as she hugged everyone goodbye.... tears started to build up in my eyes... and when she hugged me... it got worse... more tears bulit up behind my eyes.... although i did not cry... but still...

from today.... my jie jie won't be around me anymore.... there will be no one to argue or fight with me.... no one to make fun of me.... no more rushing into my sis's room early in the morning to see if she's awake... no more teasing from her.... no more free lunch... no more calling her to fetch me from sch.... n no more sis letting chelsea charge into my room and jump on me.... no more sis flicking my blanket away on weekends to make me wake up....

i din noe i will miss her dat much.... blood is really thicker den water.... i feel sad already...

just feeling so down.... feel like everyone is leaving me.... just leaving me to be all alone by myself... he left me... den my sis left... who will leave me next....

and when i'm suppose to meet u tmr.... it is cancelled again.... kind of nothing to say....

wan to see u so much.... when i type the last entry.... i feel so guilty after dat... wan to hug u and apologise to u so much.... cuz of making u think about so much things n make urself xin fan.... i dunno if u are feeling the same too but i kind of sensed that u felt heart pain.... and i felt it too.... i felt my heart ache.... cuz i made u upset.... i never told u anything like dat before.... stating things so clearly in front of u.... making u realise the truth.... and make u ponder over what i have said.... i'm sorrie....

my dear.... do u actually noe i wanted to meet u before u got ur results.... i dun noe the reason by i just felt that i should be there... but i could not.... so i thot.... maybe after u get ur results... i could meet u.... just to be there for u.... but u said u wan to be alone.... i respect ur wishes.... just noe that no matter wat happens.... i'll always be there for u.... u can trust me on one thing... which is.... i will never leave u....

i so wan to hug u.... n i miss u so much.... i was so worried when u said u wanted to meet me.... i din noe wat happened to u.... i guess maybe u will tell me when we actually meet face to face.... are u really alright as wat u said in the message....

i wan to be there for u when u need someone....
no matter wat time it is....
i'll always just a call or message away....
i'll never ever hurt u....
and i really wish we can be together again....
please give us a chance....
i Y you...

r a ! n a _____________*

The Ger



~*Serene ` Raina*~

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