Thursday, February 24, 2005

i'm totally clueless about wat i'm doing... i can't explain my actions... i msged him in msn... asking him when he is free cuz i wan to pass him something... and he said say again... why on earth did i do dat? i dun understand....

i also dunno who i'm writing this for.... no one reads my blog except for sometimes my beloved xiao tou.... thank you for being here for me.... but i guess u noe... the one i need now is not u... but him....

everytime i close my eyes... i see an image of them together... why does it have to be her... why can't it be someone else.... why can't u answer me straight.... why can't i be the one.... why must i have to go thru all this... to see someone i love so much be with someone else....

i'm tired... but i can't sleep... cuz when i close my eyes... it flashes again n again in my mind...

why can u love her but not me....

i wan to run away.... i dun wan to face all of this... run away to a place where i can feel no hurt... run away to a place where i will be happy...

sorrie to be selfish in this.... but i DO NOT wish u both happiness... i repeat again I DO NOT wish u all happiness....

n i wan u to be with me..... not anyone else.... my mind has been already set... and it cannot be changed... since i dunno when... it has been set that i wan to be with u for the rest of my life... and it is just different from the others....

never have i felt so depressed over a guy.... never have i stood by someone for such a long time.... never have i gone thru n change so much to be just the right person u wan n need... but why after all this.... u are still not by my side.... but in the arms of another....

can i please beg u.... to come back to me.... please....
i cannot be without u....
i can't stop the pain....
darlin.... i beg u....

r a ! n a _____________*

The Ger



~*Serene ` Raina*~

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