i'm totally clueless about wat i'm doing... i can't explain my actions... i msged him in msn... asking him when he is free cuz i wan to pass him something... and he said say again... why on earth did i do dat? i dun understand....
i also dunno who i'm writing this for.... no one reads my blog except for sometimes my beloved xiao tou.... thank you for being here for me.... but i guess u noe... the one i need now is not u... but him....
everytime i close my eyes... i see an image of them together... why does it have to be her... why can't it be someone else.... why can't u answer me straight.... why can't i be the one.... why must i have to go thru all this... to see someone i love so much be with someone else....
i'm tired... but i can't sleep... cuz when i close my eyes... it flashes again n again in my mind...
why can u love her but not me....
i wan to run away.... i dun wan to face all of this... run away to a place where i can feel no hurt... run away to a place where i will be happy...
sorrie to be selfish in this.... but i DO NOT wish u both happiness... i repeat again I DO NOT wish u all happiness....
n i wan u to be with me..... not anyone else.... my mind has been already set... and it cannot be changed... since i dunno when... it has been set that i wan to be with u for the rest of my life... and it is just different from the others....
never have i felt so depressed over a guy.... never have i stood by someone for such a long time.... never have i gone thru n change so much to be just the right person u wan n need... but why after all this.... u are still not by my side.... but in the arms of another....
can i please beg u.... to come back to me.... please.... i cannot be without u.... i can't stop the pain.... darlin.... i beg u....