met him today... den went alot of trials before finally get to meet him... nes accompanied me on the fone until it went flat... nothing special about the meeting... just had dinner den watched a movie...
kung fu hustle... i tink the movie suxs... not nice at all... just a stupid movie to me...
meeting him should be a happy thing.... but why do i feel so glum... during dinner... i had no appetite... during the show... i wasn't interested...
i dunno why i will be feeling dis way.... is it because... he is so near yet so far... i can see him but he's not mine... i love him but we cannot be together... or wat....
it can't be dat i've let go of him.... if yes... i won't be crying now... and i won't be feeling so upset... so gloomy... so sad...
i can't describe wat i'm feeling right now.... dunno wat my mind is thinking about now also.... i've noticed dat he wears the watch i gave him.... i've noticed that he wears the chain i gave him.... only the ring... is not worn.... i still wear the ring he gave me.... wonder if he noticed dat...
i dunno why but when he spoke to me... i found it hard to maintain eye contact with him.... wat does it means... wat does it show.... he spoke to me about many things.... even about his family matters... wat does dat show?
for me... if it is just a normal fren... i won't tell just anyone about my family matters... maybe frens also will not noe about wat happens in my family.... why would he tell me....
why is everything so like the past.... why is everything so the same.... why does everything seem as though nothing has changed... why do still seem as though we are together.... the only difference... is no holding of hands... no hugs... no goodbye kiss... dat's all....
i dunno... really dunno.... dunno wat is happening around me... dunno wat he is tinking in his mind...
but watever it is.... i noe dat i love him... n i wan him to be by my side...